1) Let's start with what led into this thought vomit - Is it appropriate to have a shower for baby #2?
With that I give a complicated answer. You're welcome in advance :) In the case that your second baby is the opposite gender of your first, absolutely appropriate. And, really it might not be that bad to have a shower for the second baby even if they are the same gender; there are always things that you wish you would have had with the first that would make life easier. But I must say, I can justify in my mind a lot more easily have a shower for the second baby if he/she was the opposite gender than the first. Another case in which I think it is absolutely appropriate to have a shower for the second child is if there's actually going to be more than one arriving - yes, pregnancies with multiples. I don't care how many children and showers you've had for them previously, if you are pregnant with multiples, dear god I hope you have at the very least, a diaper shower.
2) Is it appropriate to have more than one shower for the same pregnancy?
Ugh, this one frustrates me. I've heard the logic - "Well my family wants to throw me a shower and then my best friend wants to throw me one, oh and the people at work want to throw me one..." No. Just no. It is ridiculous to me to have more than one baby shower unless your family is the size of Rhode Islands population. Allow one person or persons to throw you one shower, and the invites will be sent to family, friends and co-workers. If other people want to help throw it, but all means, the more helping hands the better right? But how insanely selfish and materialistic looking is it to throw more than one party. In general, it seems as though having two showers is commonplace anymore, even though it still makes me cringe. But I know of one person at least who had three, who often like to remind me that my makeup hobby was a first world luxury and I could live without it.....You see where I'm going with this?
3) Baby Shower Games
If I go to one more shower were I have to eat melted candy bars in diapers, I'm going to scream. That's not cute. It's overdone. It's gross. Just no. Even the "guess the baby food" game is much better than that one and I'm not a fan of the baby food game either.
4) Who can throw the shower?
I would say in general most people would agree that throwing yourself (or your spouse throwing you) a shower is inappropriate. Also, asking someone to throw you a shower is inappropriate. Easy, done. Anyone else can step up to the plate.
5) Is it okay for guests to bring their babies to the shower?
Um, it's a baby shower. If you don't want babies around, maybe you should have reconsidered getting pregnant in the first place. On the other side however, if guests are bringing older children who don't know how to behave themselves, I could understand the annoyance of their presence.
6) The registry.
While I believe that the expecting parents should pick reasonable items to add to their registry, I also firmly believe that guests should pay close attention to the registry. For the parents, don't be putting ridiculously high priced items on your registry - ie. cribs, carseats, outdoor jungle gyms, etc. You get the picture. At the same time, guests, pay attention to the registry! There is a reason why the couple registered and that is because they are in need of the items on the list. When I am a guest to a baby shower, I always make sure to look over the registry and find what I want to get the couple. If what I would really like to get them (or anything similar) isn't on the list, I will buy one item off their registry, and then buy what I really wanted to get them as well. That way I know that at the very least they are getting items that we all know that they need and would appreciate not having to buy themselves. The other item that I just really wanted to get for them, is also nice because it is more from the heart. But, do both. If you are on a budget (as I always am) trust me when I say that there are just about always, cheap baby items on a baby registry. I don't think I've ever seen a registry where they didn't have a couple items that are $10 or under. It's doable.
7) For those who are throwing the baby shower - Listen to the mama! She most likely has been dreaming about what her baby shower will be like since she thought about having kids. Listen to what she wants - what is the theme she is going for? What is her style? There's the wonderful world of pinterest that has so many wonderfully decorated photos that can help translate one person's style to another if words aren't cutting it. As someone who has thrown a shower or two, I would have KILLED to have pinterest at that time. It would have been immensely helpful to have the mother show me pictures of how she envisioned her shower. Likewise, mothers, don't be afraid to express your vision. If the person throwing you the shower asks, tell them! Also, don't sweat the small stuff. I'm not saying that showers need to be magazine picturesque. It's not about that.
8) Partner Showers
I love the idea of having a more adult themed baby shower that invites couples. Cocktails, appetizers, gifts and laughs yes! However, I recently had an experience in which I received a baby shower invitation, drove about 45 minutes to the shower, only to find out, I was the only person there without their partner. I was baffled. How did I miss this detail?! I immediately looked at the invitation and no where did it say "coed" or "couples" anywhere. Everyone else knew because they all worked together and had talked about the shower. But for some reason, that information was left out to me. I was humiliated and angry, especially since I know my husband would have loved to go as the father-to-be was one of his best friends. Um, include that MAJOR detail on the invite would ya? I can't believe I even have to point that out.
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